Being Four: A Week Of Big Days and Mishaps

Monday: While playing softball, a neighbor stumbles while carrying LE and lands on top of him. I look over just as they fall to the ground and wonder, "Why the hell did she just tackle my kid?" Then I figured she must have known what she was doing because she has kids. Then LE was crying and the neighbor felt worse than he did.

A cuddle and a laundry basket full of sports equipment, brought out with impeccable timing by another neighbor, solved the problem and LE immediately forgot everything that had ever happened in his life before the laundry basket full of sports equipment. He shoved my face away with both hands, mid-cuddle, to get at the basket.

LE was only slightly scathed, with a small scrape on his forehead. He doesn't remember how it got there.

Then he got to stay up late and party with the grown-ups. He made it till 11.30 before collapsing in helpless whimpers about how he definitely did not want to go to bed.

His uncle didn't want to go to bed either.

Tuesday: LE gets his finger stuck in a wooden train track.

It's the hazards you don't think about that get you.

I heard this "Mama, wah!" while I was struggling with the Amtrak website to see if my friend's train was on time. I was all, "Hang on," and LE was all, "It's stuck." and I was like "Whatever," because he gets things stuck in things all the time.

But when I went to check, his finger was totally fucking stuck in that little hole, completely un-budge-able from any direction, and starting to swell. I tried soap and water and that didn't work. My mom came in and kind of panicked. I still thought it was a little bit funny and would have taken a picture if the boy hadn't been so upset about having to live with a train track stuck to his finger for the rest of his life.

We tried to break the track with a wrench and that wouldn't work. We ended up sawing the track off with this tiny coping saw my mom had for some reason, that was miraculously sitting on the top of the tool box. So that was cool.

Wednesday Morning: A large cavity in LE's molar starts bothering him a lot. I'd been putting off the cavity for far too long because I just didn't have time to deal with it, what with final exams and preparing to come here. I didn't want to deal with it here either because it's even more fucking expensive.

Worst Mommy Ever.

But the universe totally bit me on the ass for that one. Turns out the poor kid needed like a baby root canal. The dentist was all, "How the hell is this kid not crying all the time? How does he sleep?" thus sealing my label as the Worst Mommy Ever. Plus he has another small cavity next to the big one, and goodness knows what I will have to bribe him with to get him in to a dentist to fix that one, but it sure as fuck isn't going to be candy.

Lucky for LE, the Novocaine shot was so upsetting he fell asleep for the rest of the procedure. Then they let him take three prizes from the treasure chest. I'm thinking I need to get one of those dentist treasure chests for my house.

You can be sure I will show this photo to Babaanne as fuel for my pleas to stop giving him so much fucking candy, and yes, chocolate and gum count as candy. I only wish I had a recording of him screaming, "Ouch ouch ouch ouch Mama Mama it hurts so much!" That way I maybe could have also gotten her to stop giving him bowls of honey and fruit-flavored drinks and Coke.

Wednesday Afternoon: LE pretty much learned how to swim, at which point he more or less forgot about the tooth.

Knock on wood we can ride out the rest of Friday with no further developments.