The Fucking Mix

So for this week, I decided to make a mix about doing it. By "doing it," I mean Doing It.

I pared down a lot of of songs about doing it because of course a lot of songs are about doing it. Or almost getting to do it. Or not doing it. So I mostly ruled out songs that were baldly dirty in favor of ones that are just about doing it. This wasn't as a matter of taste or family-friendliness because it's fairly obvious I'm not much into either of those. It was subtlety I was looking for.

Fuck it. It's a mix about doing it. Or maybe doing it. Or thinking about doing it, because who doesn't spend some time of each and every day thinking about doing it? Doing it is a strategy for getting through life without throwing yourself or someone you love out the window. Sometimes it's the only reason you don't throw someone else or yourself out the window. Sometimes you wish there was a way you could throw yourself or someone else out the window while doing it, just to make a fucking point.

But maybe that's just me.

Anyway, here's the mix.

The Fucking Mix from istsstranger on 8tracks Radio.

1) People Are Still Having Sex (Blank & Jones Remix of La Tour)

I included some clips from History of the World Part I, just to be cool.

2) Let's Get It On (Marvin Gaye)
3) Love Life (Fatboy Slim featuring Macy Gray)
4) Whole New Way (Scissor Sisters)
5) Under Your Skin (Luscious Jackson)

Ah, Madeline Kahn. You are irreplaceable, my dear.

6) I Touch Myself (Divinyls)
7) Paradise By The Dashboard Life (Meatloaf)
8) The Lemon Song (Led Zeppelin)
9) Tony the Beat (The Sounds)
10) Never Say Never (Romeo Void)
11) Sho Nuff (Fatboy Slim)
12) Caress Me Down (Sublime)

Not Puttin' On The Ritz

When I first saw our local Atatürk statue yesterday, I thought for some reason he was hiding his face in shame. Given AKP's latest shenanigans attempting to insure no one can have any fun at all, ever, it made sense. I don't think they look kindly at puttin' on the ritz, in any way. Yawn. They're so boring.

But it turns out they're just making repairs.

Still, the timing of the covering up makes one wonder. Why did the municipality decide to cloak Atatürk the day before 19 Mayis (Youth and Sports Day), commemorating the day he went to Samsun the start the war and save the world?

The Bleak Mix

So a few weeks ago, for no reason except for maybe the endless threats of summer that never materialized amid the endless low fog, I started thinking about songs that make you feel bleak.

I'm forever working on these little mixes I prepare for the radio. I've got the next month or so lined up in the Notes app on my phone. Sometimes I think of a song I already have. Other times I think of a song I haven't heard in 20 years, which entails a pirating mission of some sort.

I don't feel the least bit bad about pirating music because the way I figure it, with all the records and CDs

Yes, they do. PSA fail.

and tapes I've bought in my lifetime, the music industry pretty much owes me. Also, I think that if they really want to line their pockets with more filthy lucre, they can get up off their lazy asses and come up with a new business plan that involves the 21st century rather than wasting time trying to convince First World children that music piracy is a moral crime akin to stealing bubble gum from the local shopkeeper. It's not. And the emerging economy kids aren't buying that bullshit anyway. It's so easy to hook up free music there are 12-year-olds here who have never done it any other way.

Copyright is copywrong. I want to have a T-shirt made with that.

Anyway, the mix I made for a couple of weeks ago when I broke the radio was still fitting for last week because summer had died again even though my mood had lifted for equally inexplicable reasons. But it's still fun to wallow in a bit of musical bleakness.

Here's the mix.

Bleak from istsstranger on 8tracks Radio.

And here's the songlist.

Candy Says-- Velvet Underground (it's about a pre-op transgender prostitute that died from too many cheap, bad hormone pills-- fucking tragic and gorgeous song)
We Stand Alone-- Covenant
Of Course-- Jane's Addiction
Venus In Furs-- Velvet Underground
Muscle Museum-- Muse
Coma Black-- Marilyn Manson (good thing we didn't have him when I was an angsty teen-- "I kill myself to make everybody pay"-- we had to make do with Depeche Mode when we felt all wrist-slitty in my day)
Something I Can Never Have-- Nine Inch Nails
World Full Of Nothing-- Depeche Mode (is it possible to make a bleak mix without Depeche Mode? No. No, it's not)
1959-- Sisters of Mercy (ouch. Gothy)
The Villain-- Austra
Chelsea Girls-- Nico (more tragic hookers via the Lou Reed connection)

Anyway, that's the story. I'm leaving out the part where the kid who comes after me on the radio explained his simple solution for my radio killing. It involved a restart, which I was too chicken to brave. These kids are ever so sweet.

Tomorrow's mix promises way more happy shit, I hope. But I'm not going to spoil the surprise.

Also I don't know for sure I'm not gonna break the radio again.

Sleep Stalker

Sleep Stalker 

Every night I sleep stalk my kid

I've been doing it since he was born.

Before that, of course, I had no choice. I knew exactly what he was doing all the time

 Even hiccuping, which he did a lot

 And still does if he laughs too hard and too long.  

But after he came out, I had to check him.

Is the baby still breathing?

Touch his forehead

Push back his sweaty hair with my fingertips

Brush his cheek with the back of my hand

He snuffles and snorts and shuffles the way he's always done

Kicks off the blankets

Rolls towards me and sighs

The baby is fine.

It's not SIDS this time

Off the hook another night!

I put my hand on his arm

Just to feel its smallness.

I told my kid how I sleep stalk him

I showed him the pictures.

 He didn't care for that, how I posted them on the Internet

One way his face has never changed is when he is sleeping.

So I promised I wouldn't take pictures anymore

(except for the one in the Angry Bird blanket which he said I can post)

And I haven't since then.

But I also promised I'd never stop sleep stalking him.

And I totally still do, every night.

Well Played, Dumbasses

Tomorrow is May 1.

Mayday mayday!

Mayday makes me think simultaneously of flaming warplanes crashing and little kids with flowers in their hair dancing around the maypole. That might be metaphorical for something.

Image search hit for "fractious."

For the last few years, we've suddenly gotten May 1 as a holiday. I suppose May 1 is kind of fraught, what with all the bad memories from stuff that happened decades ago, not to mention the Commie associations, some of which in Turkey are also PKK associations, and naturally workers' rights would be less than popular in a country where the Capitalists are trying to out-Capitalist the Capitalists. Whatever anyone else in the world is doing, the powers that be in Turkey think they have to do it better and with greater fanfare.

So getting May 1 as a holiday seemed kind of big to me, like some people in authority were maybe growing up a little bit.

Also for the last two years, people were allowed to demonstrate in Taksim. So for the last two years, demonstrations in Taksim have gone off more or less peacefully. They didn't used to, not when they were illegal. It used to be the evening news on May 1 was all about tear gas and police tanks and police beatings with sticks. And then the police would herd some demonstrators into the Gypsy neighborhoods in Dolapdere and Tarlabaşı, except the Gypsies didn't care for that, not one bit. So they'd get all batshit, wielding any implement they could get their hands on to fight everyone off, which would then turn into a bunch of small riots. One year, there was a guy on the news in one of those neighborhoods who was so mad he was standing on the roof of his apartment building in a screaming rage, punching himself in the face with both hands.

It will be heaven if traffic is this good tomorrow.

So this year, a day before May 1, our genius authorities have come up with this: ban all the Taksim demonstrations and close most central public transport. The Metrobus, the ferries, the Kabataş funicular, and the Metro past Levent. They're closing a bunch of roads, too. Big, main important roads. What a winner idea!

On my micro-level it means my plan to deliver LE to his grandparents is not to be, which means we get to hang out for awhile tomorrow because neither of us has to be anywhere.

On a macro-level, it means potential chaos and insanity and violence that I sincerely hope don't happen.

The scary message from the consulate has arrived:

May 1, 2013

U.S. Consulate Istanbul informs U.S. citizens that official demonstrations in support of “Labor and Solidarity Day” will be held on Wednesday, May 1, in the Kazlıçeşme area of Istanbul.  The potential for unofficial demonstrations exists in Taksim Square.  A large turnout is expected and several main thoroughfares in the area will be closed.  In the past, large-scale protests and demonstrations in Istanbul have turned violent, although the past two May Day celebrations were peaceful and concluded without incident. 

The U.S. Consulate reminds U.S. Citizens that Thursday, May 2, 2013, is the two-year anniversary of Osama Bin Laden’s death. 

At the end is the boilerplate waring that reminds you to keep a low profile. Ha! Yeah, that's super easy.

Başbakan Erdoğan says it's better than booze, but I'm having none of it.

Of course, in the Hürriyet article, our Good Leader has already managed to lay all blame any possible violence on the people, as though he honestly expects everyone will just swallow their rage and stay home and drink their fucking ayran. But I'll bet the police are polishing their clubs and shields and oiling up their tanks right now.

So that's the Big Excitement for today. I really hope it's not an interesting news day tomorrow.

Techno Fail!

It hasn't been such a horrible week, but it hasn't been such a good week either. It's been the kind of week where you remark at the end of it that you're glad the week is over, but don't feel like you dread the upcoming week.




Isn't that weird, how I've gotten kind of optimistic? I actually look forward to next week a little on the off chance that it might be better than this week.

I'll fuck you up.

Which is either a little bit cynical or extremely Polyanna-ish.

One thing I love in Turkish is that Polyanna means the same thing.

Tech failure has been an ongoing theme. Both of my computers, the home one and the work one, have turned into complete bitches. I mean, they were already crotchety, but they must have figured out I don't really love them deep down.

Not like I loved my old computer that got stolen. Whenever I see one like it, I have to run up and have a look and ask if I can touch it. It freaks people out.



On my home computer, the ad-blocker doesn't turn on automatically anymore. On the work computer, you have to restart it every time the Wi-Fi goes off, which is fairly often. The home one objects to this one Java download it keeps trying to install every morning. The work one takes like half an hour to wake up and start running at normal speed.

I could go on. I've been feeling rather list-making-ish lately.

But today, I had what I believe is a Serious Old Person Tech Failure. A Serious Old Person Tech Failure is when the computer does something computers don't do. Like it or not, and I'm not being ageist here, young people are more adept with computers. I can say I'm not being ageist because computer fluency is akin to language fluency, and there are now digital natives and digital non-natives. We can even take it a step further and say there are digital pidgin speakers and digital creole speakers.

But I digress. We all know what Old Person Tech Failures are like. Worst case, it's like this 70-year-old lady I used to work for. Every time the words disappeared from the screen (this was in the early 90s, mind you, so the screen was black with green letters), she'd freak out. Usually it was because she'd closed something, or hit return a million times, or failed to turn on the monitor, something like that. She never figured out what the problem was, and she was forever amazed I could tell just by looking at the blank screen what she'd done, and fix it.

What do you mean my pizza isn't gonna come out?

I just password-protected a .zip file!

But that's a regular Old Person Tech Failure. Serious Old Person Tech Failure is when someone who is clearly a digital non-native but who is reasonably competent in the language causes the computer do something impossible, just by completing the normal series of steps one normally undertakes. My mom will kill me for mentioning this, but she's a wizard at causing computers to do insane, impossible things. Programs disappear for no reason. Strange words appear on the page. The letter Y ceases to work, but then for no reason starts working again after you uninstall and reinstall iTunes because the button to open photos had quit working. It makes my mom mad when when someone is agog at something her computer is doing and I don't blame her. But it's not her fault. I'm fairly sure she isn't doing something wrong. She's as competent in computers as she needs to be to do whatever she needs to do, which is quite a lot.

That's pretty much how competent I am. I need computers to do more stuff than my mom does, which makes me a little less likely to cause the computer to do insane things.

At the radio place, I'm the old person. The students that run things are total digital natives, and they watch me doing stuff on the computer with that same amused, patient face I wear when I watch people 10 and 20 years older than me using a computer.




The radio, thus far, has not really worked in my favor. Usually whatever makes it stream isn't working. I think, in the last 2 months, I've been on the radio maybe 2 times where I was actually on the radio. The other times I was just in the student center. And today, there was no sound in the student center even though the radio was getting streamed (I checked in the office before I left), and even though I know which dial is the student center volume dial, so there was a good chance that whatever I was planning to do on the radio was going to be heard only by me in these really fancy earphones they have that I love. This was okay but not ideal.

But today, none of the kids were around to fix things and give me patient smiles. Everything was fine when I got there. I did everything as I always do it, got everything loaded and muttered some bullshit in the microphone and attempted to start the song as I always do (it's Windows Media Player, people-- it's not rocket science), and it wouldn't start.

Only it wouldn't start in an impossible way. The button showed that it was playing, but the scrubber didn't move and no sound came out. So I muttered some more bullshit into the microphone and shut it off and set about trying to fix it. Nothing worked, so I gave up on stupid Windows and loaded everything into Winamp. Which did the same thing. So I found VLC and stuck it all on there. The scrubber moved, but no sound came out. Some for Media Monkey and some other media player on there. I didn't mess with iTunes because I'm not super comfortable with iTunes. And I was afraid to restart the computer because I'm a digital pidgin speaker or maybe creole and maybe I would  break something, like the radio or the Internet or whatever. So I was stumped and I gave up and went home.

That's the end of that story. It's not a very good ending, just a bad sign.

At least today it was beautiful weather-wise. So that was something.

Sort of.

The St. Paddy's Show

The mix I did for St. Patrick's Day. It wasn't actually on St. Patrick's, but I was still pleased with it.

 

The St. Paddy's Show from istsstranger on 8tracks Radio.

The Lineup:

Bu Akşam-- Duman
Zoot Suit Riot-- Cherry Poppin' Daddies
Agua de Beber-- Antonio Carlos Jobim and Astrud Gilberto
Badfish-- Sublime
Coconut-- Harry Nilsson
Danny Boy-- Diana Krall and the Chieftans
Half Moon Street-- Pete and the Pirates
Dirty Old Town-- The Pogues
40 Oz. to Freedom-- Sublime
Margaritaville-- Jimmy Buffet Also I dedicated this one to my brother, who'd had his birthday a few days before
Take Your Mama-- The Scissor Sisters
You and Me and the Bottle Make Three-- Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Too Drunk to Fuck-- The Dead Kennedys
Rock and Roll-- The Sounds
Ponderosa-- Tricky
Drink Before the War-- Sinead O'Connor