|I come up first when you search "Staff English" in Google images.|
Staff English is classes for people who work at the university, like in the tech services place and Human Resources and the gym and other mysterious university offices where people do stuff that has to be done.
The reasoning behind taking on the extra work was thus: I wanted to see what it feels like to teach grown-ups again. And I heard they're all motivated and grown-up and shit.
Also, I didn't really volunteer so much as offer myself. I'm totally getting paid for this. I'm not one of these dedicated teaching professionals that works for free, out of love for the profession. I'm a fucking asshole, didn't you know?
But the money is kind of a bonus. I actually do like teaching these people. They come to class, all in their places with bright shiny faces after a hard day's work. They shut their phones off (off, mind you, not on vibrate!) except for the ones who are parents, which is legitimate, I think. And sometimes one has on ongoing work crisis wherein he or she has to get berated by someone. But at least they ask permission to go outside the room to deal with it. And then they apologize when they come back. And they mean it.
|Wanna learn future perfect continuous?|
Here's what I don't like about Staff English. Like dershane students, they don't learn very much, and very few of them actually improve. But at least they're cheerful about it.
|It was fun at first. Wait. No it wasn't.|
|What, this never happened to you?|
But I said "yes" without considering my obligations. Like Staff English, who were due for a midterm exam, as per the unreasonable request of Human Resources. There was also the President's dinner, a yearly event at Rektör Bey's house we all get invited to each year, and this was the first year I've accepted the invitation.
So I thought, "I'll be damned if I pay for a sitter for 2 nights. LE can just come to class with me."
Which of course was touchy, with the midterm and all. You can't have a kid running around and being cute and playing with the phone and demanding things while people are sweating through a useless midterm.
The midterm I'd devised for Staff English was piss easy, but they sweated and struggled. At one point, I heard my phone clatter to the floor outside the room and went to check, closing the door behind me. I could hear the students cheating the moment the door closed. Seriously? A no-stakes piss easy midterm? I'll refrain from further commentary on that.
Turned out LE just wanted a different video, and he'd dropped the phone attempting to knock on the door softly, the way I'd instructed him, because the earphones had gotten tangled in his legs.
So the students finished their midterm. Like dershane students, half of them bombed it. The only part they all did well on was the part where I let them cheat, when I went out of the room to make sure my phone wasn't dead.
|Oh, for fuck's sake!|
As they finished their exam and left the room, most of them pinched LE's cheeks on the way out. One of them wrote me a list of stuff to get from the baharatçı, to deal with LE's cough. Apparently the cough was too much to deal with during the exam. The student who wrote it is the sweetest guy ever, and would have failed the exam, cough or not, despite the several answers I gave him in Turkish after the other students had left.
|Pulled one of these.|
Because, of course, he'd melted onto the floor and crawled under three rows of tables to appear under the one in the front. He was rapt. Luckily, it was the can/can't review lesson, wherein I draw Superman and a Baby on the board and make the students say what they can and can't do.
|Better than mine.|
|Should have followed the instructions.|
By the end of the lesson, LE had made his way into a desk in the front row. He just hung out there like it was cool.
|He thinks I'm her.|
|Ego permeable. I promise.|
God dammit, but do ever I miss that little kid right now.