Mesmerized

The Wiggles were becoming a very fraught issue around here. LE has four Wiggles DVDs, and choosing which one to watch has turned into a 20 minute argument. First he wants one called "Getting Strong," which he requests by sqinching up his arms in a sort of strongman pose and saying "Tong?" So I get out "Getting Strong" and the screeching and stomping begins because he really wanted to watch "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" (and yes, Leo Sayers makes a guest appearance in that one). "Dance! Dance!" So I get out "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" and LE realizes he didn't want that one after all because the case looks all crappy since he ripped up the cover and chewed on the plastic a little. "Pop! Pop!" he screams, because "Pop Go the Wiggles" was the only possible choice all along.

By now I'm starting to get a little frustrated because the only reason I started screwing around with these annoying DVDs in the first place was so I could go cook dinner or do something else without LE's input. I know for sure that he won't really want to watch "Pop Go the Wiggles" but I have to continue with the whole rigmarole before we return to "Getting Strong." He never wants to watch "Sing a Song of Wiggles" which I think shows a bit of good taste since that one pretty much just seems like the ones they rejected when they made "Pop Go the Wiggles." Anyway.

We finally manage to negotiate the opening of the DVD player and the gentle placing of the disc in the correct place and the closing of the DVD player and a few promises that he won't screw around with the machine anymore, which is mostly me promising and LE having totally other plans. I used to skip past the commercials but now he won't let me do that anymore. I used to start the DVD for him, but I can't do that anymore either because his favorite song is in the root menu. It plays a part of the song once or twice before starting on its own. So LE runs on the spot when they sing "running on the spot, run run run" and jumps up and down when they sing "jumping up and down, jump jump jump" and squinches up when they sing "getting strong getting strong getting strong" and then the movie starts by itself and so does the tantrum. Even if I'm in another room he'll run in and hit me because it's ALL MY FAULT that the movie started. And there's no fixing it except to leave him crying on the floor and to go about my business.

How people deal with more than one little kid I'll never know.

As an aside, the Wiggles are coming to Portland soon. We looked into getting tickets and the cheapest ones were, get this, $65! That's SIXTY-FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS. For seats that are off to the side and slightly behind the stage. In a freaking 20,000 capacity arena. Are they seriously going to fill that with 20,000 kids and their parents for two shows in one day? At a minimum of $65? Good seats were closer to $120. Do they hand out lighters for the kids to wave around for the Wiggles' hello and goodbye anthems? Can you imagine the mayhem in the women's toilets at such a show? For $120 fucking dollars I want the Wiggles in my goddamn living room. Hell, I'd even offer them a snack.

But the other day I went with my mom to Target to see if we could find "Old School Sesame Street Volume 1" (it's for LE and not me, okay? Even if I am the only one who watches "Old School Sesame Street Volume 2" and knows all the songs). Instead, LE's and my eyes caught another interesting-looking movie called "Yo Gabba Gabba." I don't know what appealed to him about it, but for me it was the apparent low-budget goodness of some foam characters and a guy dressed in an orange leotard with a fuzzy Jamiroquai disco hat. It felt like Pee-Wee's Playhouse meets the Electric Company. How could it possibly be bad?


It isn't. It totally lives up to its promise. It's weird and a little bit creepy and low-budget and hipper than a kids' show is supposed to be and also it has a song called "You Can't Always Get What You Want So It Doesn't Help to Keep Asking" or something to that effect, which I think is a valuable message for my son. It also has a song called "I Like Fish" which goes "I like fish I like fish I like fish (etc.)" and I can't say who's more enthralled with the whole thing, me or LE.

So it's officially my new babysitter, but it's one I don't mind listening to over and over and okay, yeah, I admit I spend more time than I ought to watching it with the boy.

But seriously, how many places in the world are there where you can watch Jack Black doing this*?

My cruel Mommy heart swells with pleasure to see LE working on that particular dance.

*That video is not You Tube, BTW, for my dear friends trapped behind the Turkish Firewall of Pure Stupidity. I don't know about you, but I've been having some trouble with Ktunnel lately and I don't know of any other proxy servers that are as easy to use.