It's true. The blog is slowly dying. I just don't have anything to say. Nothing new, anyway. I'm trying to keep away from the full-on Mommy Blogger thing, not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just that there's plenty of that going on in the world already, and anything I would have to say has probably already been said 57 times by other people, and probably a more cleverly. And I honestly just don't find anything interesting enough about the minutiae of my daily existence to share that with the world. There's enough of that out there too. Some of it is funny. Most of it is mind-numbing. I just can't bring myself to join the ranks of the exhibitionists.
Plus, I'm not actually in Turkey right now. I'm just not paying attention to anything going on there. I don't pay attention to anything going on here either. I pay attention to my kid, and my family, and just try to get as much sleep as possible and not get too fat. I don't even know the date today. I usually know what day it is, but not the date. Which means November 17 came and went with nothing extraordinary happening. Or maybe it did, but I wasn't paying attention. That's the thing about superstitions, I suppose. You have to be looking out for them to be true. Either that, or I jinxed the reality of November 17 by mentioning it publicly. I kind of prefer thinking about it the second way, the jinx-y superstitious way. Superstition can be a nice way to negotiate seemingly cold and unfeeling chains of events in the world. It makes me feel like I have control, or something like it. Come to think of it, this probably goes a long way to explaining why religion continues to be so darned popular.
Don't get me started on religion.
In fact, it often seems best that I don't get started on anything. Since the baby was born, it seems I never have more than 20 minutes at a time to do anything, let alone complete a thought. Right now the baby is at school (he's doing better with it, by the way-- the crying and clinging stopped last week and now he struts around like a big kid when he's there), but BE is calling from downstairs for me, as he does. Turns out he was about to take a shower and discovered the towels were being washed. And he wasn't shouting up the stairs, he was calling softly, thus making it impossible for me to carry on the conversation from here. So I had to go all the way down to see what the hell he wanted, then all the way back up to fetch the towels, then all the way back down to deliver them. Apparently being dressed only in his undershorts prevented him not only from fetching the towels himself, but also from shouting loudly enough so I could hear him without going down the stairs.
Minutiae, right? Who cares? I'm definitely not the first woman to notice having a husband and a baby is a lot like having a small baby and a big baby. That thought is as tired as mother-in-law jokes.
Bri, who pays attention to things in the world, has alerted me to some ridiculous events involving a Motrin commercial and a host of upset babywearing attachment parents. I felt like having a rant about that, but then I changed my mind. A mini-rant will have to do. In a nutshell: mothering and martyring are not the same thing, though I admit the line between them gets blurry at times. Bully for everyone who doesn't want to take anything for the pain they have as a result of hauling a kid around. Bully for everyone who's really into babywearing like it's a defining characteristic of their identities as humans, and bully for their babies who will sit still for that. Is this really the first time a commercial has seemed condescending to or dismissive of its potential viewers? Legions of Women's Studies professors and students would surely have something to say about that. As long as so many people have all this enraged energy to spare, let's get them to pull this Suave commercial too, because it really pisses me off and there's just not enough injustice in the world for me to worry about now that Obama's been elected.
I don't want my blog to die. I just have to try harder. To anyone who still bothers to read me, thanks for bearing with me during this boring time.
10 comments:
Still here, not bored. I always feel this way. Keep going.
Where are you? Why are you not in Turkey? What's going on?
Thanks, Bri!
Still staying at my parents' in Oregon until mid-January. BE is here too. I'm actually living in my parents' basement with my husband and my kid. Why am I not surprised my life would come to this at some point?
I still read your blog...not bored at all. Feel free to keep plugging away at your leisure with no pressure from the outside world! Hell, I'm still nattering even though I am now no longer Yaramaz in Turkeyburg!
I'm still here and not bored and you see, you have got something to say.
Aw, thanks guys!
I think you have bloggers' block. I had that. The desire to blog will return, I do predict that for you. I hope it does anyway because I just found you and would like to see new posts and read what you write.
I think you put that very nicely, Tab, and I feel encouraged, for what it's worth.
Not that I have a lot to say, blog-wise. Interestingly though, my friends have been getting veeeeery long emails from me, so I guess the energy has just been replaced for awhile.
I'm still here ... with love and lights from Istanbul :)
ozgur
may I make suggestions?
Take a walk around the streets of Istanbul with your camera and take lots of snaps! Compose images that reveal how you feel about living in Turkey. Images that amuse or intrigue. You will be surprised how much talent you have. People will thank you for your personal perspective.
Write a book or film review. Tell me about things that interest you. What is the best book you have recently read? Why should I read it too? What was a big disappointment?
Write an interview. Find the most interesting person you know and write about 20 questions that reveal the reasons why he/she is interesting.
Make some lists. Things you hate. Things you love. Your favorite what-evers.
Listen to NPR and you should get some new ideas. I like "This American Life"
Imagine you are an expert on some subject. Write a helpful guide in your particular field. You don't know who you might help.
One typical problem with a blog is not knowing how much about your daily life you wish to reveal to the world. It can hold you back from having anything to write at all.
Lately, in my blog, I have been remembering people I loved. Family members that have passed away that deserved to be eulogized.
A blog should never find like work. It helps to think of yourself as a celebrity who is generous with advice and good will!
Mike
Özgür, thanks for your kind words and for sticking around!
Nomad, those are all very good ideas and I appreciate the help very much. I've been kicking around some of those already, like lists and book reviews, but I just haven't managed to buckle down.
I think a lot of being uninspired has to do with where I am now-- I've been in the US for several months and have stayed very unconnected with all things Turkish (husband and baby excluded), but I think when I get back, I'll suddenly find myself with more stuff to sink my teeth into, if anything because I have fewer people to talk to there!
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