Friday, July 6, 2012

Sorry, Bee

Dear Bee Who Stung My Toe Today,

There you were in the grass just doing what bees do.

And then you got into my sandal and stung the fuck out of my toe. I don't know how you managed it. You must have hit a vein or something because it hurt like the dickens and half my foot looks bruised now.

It's not like I haven't been stung by bees before. I was once the object of a pissed-off, undersmoked hive and like five of your brethren got me all at once and all it did was get me a little bit high for the rest of the day.

I know your kind have been dying off and disappearing mysteriously from this world. And I can tell from the goo hanging off the end of your stinger that you didn't make it through the toe-attack. You're probably dead now.

And I'm so, so sorry you thought I was the enemy and that you died trying to kill me. I wish we could have talked it over first.

Deepest regrets,


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