Thursday, January 12, 2012

Perking the Pansies: He's Written A Book, Folks!

Today I am most pleased to have a guest post from fellow Turkey blogger Jack Scott over at Perking The Pansies, and it's not just because I can't think of anything of my own to write at the moment. Or maybe I have too much and it's just clogged at the gates, who knows?

The book.
I've been hooked on Jack's blog for several months now. It's my first-thing-in-the-morning pleasure, or just-before-sacking-out thrill to read his musings every day, always posted at midnight our time. For a guy who hasn't been here super-long, his perceptions of Turkey and the folks therein are incisive yet loving, with none of the Western imperialism nor the jaded expat-ness one often comes across in yabancı friends. The man can turn a phrase, seriously.

I very much look forward to reading the book, which is getting the kind of sincere and intriguing reviews that make me willing to throw my money at the the Internet.

Though what I really want to know is if I'm more of a semigrey or a VOMIT. Somewhere in the middle I suppose. I never fit into boxes very well.

Anyway, the guest post. It's just about the nicest thing I've seen a Brit ever say about my homeland, and he captures DC spot-on without being snarky:

A youthful Jack. I'd totally do him.
Yankee Tales

I was really pleased when Istanbul's Stranger asked me to guest on her blog as part of my virtual book tour. She’s deliciously witty, calls a spade a spade and her sharp observations about her life in Old Constantinople are a joy to read. She’s American but I think her writing style has a distinctive British, ironic twist. Maybe she was a Brit in a former life. I’m here to plug my book but, as this isn’t Oprah’s Book Club, I thought I’d regale you with tales of my first visit to the good old US of A.

I’ve been to the States four times – to New York, Boston, LA and my first visit was to the District of Columbia at the tender age of 20. I had dallied with a travelling Yank who worked for the Federal Government and was attending a conference in London. He invited me to stay with him in the US, so I did. I had tired of a dull, dead end job as chief pound counter for Habitat in Chelsea and fancied emulating the millions of others who had sought their fortune in the land of opportunity. I saved my pennies, quit my job, booked a one way ticket on Freddy Laker’s Skytrain to New York and off I went. I flew out of the Big Apple and down to Washington DC.

My host got a shock when I called. It seemed his invitation hadn't been entirely genuine; still, he was good enough to let me stay for a few weeks in return for occasional sexual favours. Springtime in Washington is very agreeable - a riot of cherry blossom. The federal heart of the city is laid out in imperial style and built in monumental neo-classical majesty as befits the capital of the most powerful nation in history. The grand design is best appreciated from the top of the Monument, the world’s tallest true obelisk. I did the obligatory tour of the White House and the Capitol and strolled along the Mall popping in and out of the various museums along the way. It struck me how everything was described in the definite article – The White House, The Monument, The Capitol as if no others exist. It’s a sign of a confident young nation with a touch of teenage arrogance.

Gay life in Washington was a world away from recession-ravaged buttoned up Britain with its grubby backstreet gay bars. It's taken London thirty years to catch up. I loved it and it loved me. I was young and handsome with cheekbones that could slice cheese. My hosts lapped me up and I let them. I wowed the randy scamps in Rascals, a popular watering hole and pick up joint for federal employees near Dupont Circle. They seemed to love my accent, along with my uncut assets.

Eventually, I sensed I was overstaying my welcome and my reluctant landlord feared I might claim squatters rights. After several weeks living the American dream, I pined for the old country and flew home on BA. I often wonder what would have become of me if I‘d stayed Stateside?

So now you’ve read about my Yankee tales, why not read about my Turkish tales in my book, Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey? It’s available in paperback and Kindle on and If you buy it via my website I’ll make a few extra pennies. No pressure.

Thanks for popping by, Jack! It's been my pleasure. Take care, and my very best to you and Liam.



Jack Scott said...

Thank you for being part of my world book tour. Believe me I need all the help I can get!

Ayak said...

Jack you always do great guest posts. I think your US visit could easily develop into another book.

Stranger: I've read the book and it's brilliant..I'm sure you will love it xx

Ellen Rabiner said...

Entertaining as always, Jack! And I'm so glad to find this blog. Don't know how I missed a fellow Amerikalı yabancı.

The Loerzels said...

I loved all of it....Stranger's commentary, Jack's writing and the I'd do him comment! I'm a new fan and coincidentally I'm going to Istanbul in March for the first time so I'm totally thrilled I found your blog via Jack's blog! Now don't be a stranger...

The Loerzels said...

I loved all of it....

Jack Scott said...

Glad you all like it! Thank you. said...

Loved the 'I'd do him' comment, lol! He does have a way about him, doesn't he? Having lived in the DC area (Arlington) for 20 years before moving away and then awayer, he reminds me of the old stomping grounds. I can definitely say the book is a great read so go ahead and throw your money at the Internet, you won't be disappointed.